"So, are you bald now?" common question for me whenever I see my friends nowadays.
Well, as informed and as expectedly, the hairs began to fall badly after 2-3 weeks from the first chemo.
Before that, the hairs were already start falling specially after shower and morning wake up. Seeing the floor and pillow with hairs make me regret that I didn't cut my hair even shorter.
It was few days before Xmas last year when Lily accidentally pulls my hairs and made me realise.. It's time!! Seeing my hairs on her small palm really hurts! I showed it to my mom. Mom asked if there is any pain or not. Nope. No pain. The heart that pain for few seconds!
On Xmas Day, I get my hubby to cut my hair as short as possible. The hairs are too fragile that simplify hubby's tasks. Pakai tangan saja tarik sambil gunting sikit. The hairs no more short but actually almost bald!! Senang la mau pakai the wig. The truth is I only wore the wig once which was on Xmas day itself. Ntah la.. Mcm tidak selesa juga pakai wig. Anak tudung is much2 better I think but not those tudung la. Am not ready yet. Takkan pula mau buka tu tudung bila sdh ada rambut balik kan. Seru belum sampai. Something macam tu la..
So, here goes my almost-bald head! Kira bald la juga kan..
Plan to totally bald it end of the mth. At least, sama rata kalau tumbuh balik. Kena pula rambut jenis lambat panjang! Aduiii.. bila la ada rambut balik ni?! The hair will only start growing after completed the chemo. Miss them so badly!
Recently, my eyes caught a 50% hair makeover voucher in Cleo and was excited kunun nie before I realise I have no hair for makeover! Poor me!
But pls don't pity me ya.. When I say poor me that doesn't mean like I was thinking negative or what coz I know I am strong and I can go through all this! I never know that I am as strong as myself now coz I am actually a pesimis person!! Perhaps I am just not pesimis as I think I am! Hmmm..
Of coz my children look at me weirdly and they prefer me cover my head at the beginning. We will tell them mommy is not well and they nod. "Mommy, du-du (sakit)" Rayyan repeated. Now, they are used to my new look. *grin*
Btw, I have completed part 1 of the chemo session. 4 cycles every 3 weeks done. Part 2 will start next week. It's a 12 cycles chemo on weekly basis with lesser dosage! Phewww... Am not worry with the total number of cycles. It's just that the weekly poke that I hate. Ngeri juga kena cucuk dekat area dada. Last cycle, the nurse wrongly poked and they have to re-do the poke-process. Aduiiiiiii..... menitik jg tu air mata!
So far, I do not have any major effect besides being bald. Appetite pun ok. Blood count ok. Cuma senang terjangkit flu+cough. Bila terjangkit, it takes 2 weeks to recover. Hmmm... Am not sure bout the cells thingy. So far, doc never review bout the cells. Maybe after completed the chemo?! Will keep u guys updated. Pray for me ya.. ^_^